Painful Memories
by crazed spyromaniac
Summary: Kitty Pryde has been running away from memories for a long time. What happens when they all confront at once?


Painful Memories  
  
~It's easier to run  
replacing this pain with something numb  
It's so much easier to go  
Than face all this pain here all alone~  
  
Kitty Pryde remembered seeing the walls of the empty night club where she worked. Now she found herself trapped in a small room with images of what she could have been, what she once was, her dead father, her dead best friend and of Peter. She curled up into the corner of the room, afraid to become tangible. Every one of the images blamed her for what had happened to them.  
She saw her father start to preach to her, asking her to come back with him. Peter held his hand out to her silently asking her to come with him. The images of her self as a doctor, lawyer, housewife, and a child screamed at her for letting them down. She closed her eyes, but she could still hear them.  
"It's your fault that I can't be all these things! It's your fault that you ruined my dreams!"  
"Kitty you killed me! You left me there to die! Kitty, Kitty, Kitty...."  
"All I wanted to do was raise a happy family and you didn't even consider it!"  
"Kitty, I love you...."  
  
Kitty clamped her hands over her ears, in a vain attempt to block out the voices that were tormenting her. Voices of people, that have tormented her since she had lost them. Tears began to roll down her face, creating small rivers. She had been in counseling for a few months, and the counseling was supposed to help with this.  
  
~Something has been taken  
from deep inside of me  
A secret I've kept locked away  
No one can ever see  
No one can ever see  
wounds so deep they never show  
They never go away  
Like moving pictures in my head  
For years and years they've played~  
  
She opened her eyes and saw that Peter was the only one standing in front of her. He knelt down on his knees, and took Kitty's hand in and placed it into his. More tears flowed down her pale cheeks, and he said, "Kitty, it isn't your fault...."  
  
She parted her lips just to say something, but no sound came out from her mouth. Peter sat in front of her waiting for her to speak. She wanted to, really she did, bus she found that she couldn't. Her mouth felt dry, almost as if it were cotton. Peter moved to dry her tears from her face, and she saw the images of him dying over and over again. She remembered moving to Chicago, just to get away from the X-men. She blamed them for his death.  
Finally she found the ability to speak, "I killed you."  
If I could  
Stand up and take the blame I would  
if I could take all the shame to the grave  
I would  
  
It almost felt like a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She no longer had to keep her secret locked away, and guarded like she had been for the last year. Kitty closed her eyes and slowly removed her hands from her ears. Then silently, so silent it was almost a whisper, she heard , "No you didn't. Don't ever think that. Don't ever think that."  
She opened her eyes and saw that Peter wasn't there any more, and that she was no longer in tiny room. She was back at the bar, closing up shop. She had let her memories get in her way again, she had let them take control of her. She still felt the guilt of Peter's death weigh in her mind. She turned around and closed the cash register. She was going to run away from her memories once again. They were too painful for her to face by herself again.  
Pushing all the thoughts and memories she had to the side, she walked out of the door and locked up. For Kitty Pryde this was just another night, another day. She hoped that maybe one day, she could face all the memories that were inside of her, the same memories that evoked so much pain.  
  
It's easier to run  
Replacing this pain with something numb  
It's so much easier to go  
Then face all this pain her all alone.  
  
Disclaimer: "Easier to Run" is owned by Linkin Park. I do not own Kitty Pryde or the being trapped in a room with all her past figure people, that came from "X- treme X-men, God Loves Man Kills Part 2. 


End file.
